Why men have affairs?
Talk about a loaded subject that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on since old ages. Affairs can be filled with problems, cause sorrow, and other troubles. Also you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, money, age difference, faith background, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married woman looking for dating married men.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are man seeking woman for affair. I am sure generally though it is only the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us get away the world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people are able to turn the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos society has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will overcome their worries and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but the public as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your relatives or anyone else? You would need to reduce the risk you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest grouping, very big really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, generally the man is sexually neglecting his lady for a number of reasons. As a male I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be caring is disappeared, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just grown apart, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.